[That hurt my soul to read. Thank god Jun cannot read minds.
At the question, Jun will give a shrug. ]
You didn't visit Haru or Belle in the hospital.
[There's no scorn in his voice, just a neutral observation. ]
If you had skipped out visiting just me, that would've been one thing. [They're not the closest of siblings, he gets it] But not even going to even check on them...
[Ah... we're getting somewhere. Jun will move to sit down in a nearby chair, ready to listen. His tone is passive, not really judgemental... just, curious.]
I don't know if that's true. Why would you think that about yourself?
[Jun remains quiet as Luke let's it comes out. He'd never been much of a talker, but much like his patron- he was a good listener. He listens and thinks over this words as they come out. There's a tug of guilt in his heart as he mentions the "worthless brother" part- as he's definitely fretted about if Luke was up for their life... did it come off like that?
But he let's that bit go, this isn't about him. It's about Luke]
You're not a worthless brother. You're just young and inexperienced. [He pauses, before admitting] And truthfully... I caused a lot of trouble when I was your age. Ash did too.
[As the comment about the dad, his hearts. Not for himself, he knows Luke and him don't share a dad. But for Luke... who had to experience that. ]
[Jun at least has enough self-awareness to snort at that notion.]
Ha... Unfortunately, I've caused a lot of trouble. I'll tell you some of the stories someday. One involved a T-rex, and there was a whole stint I had where I'd sneak into Spirit Realms by myself.
[he was. a rebellious youth. But he knows this isn't the time for wild tales of jun's youth. That could be another time, when Luke wasn't going through it.]
... Your survival instinct kicked in, Luke. And the instinct wasn't wrong. Had you not acted, he likely would've killed you. After all... the Hunter was what landed me in the hospital. And if I didn't have my regeneration power... I wouldn't have made it.
[He bites his lip a little]
I get it though. No matter how much you rationalize it... the guilt doesn't go away. You go over the moment over and over in your head... wishing you had done things differently, even if you don't know how.
Believe me, the months of community service that came after wasn't cool.
[He got in so much trouble for that one okay. So much.
There's a pause as a soft intake of breath when Luke says that. That he wishes he could go back. Like he wishes he could forget. His mind can't help but flashback to the numerous conversations he had when Luke showed up. The concerns he had about Luke remembering, about taking part of his life.... that maybe it'd be better if he stayed away, and didn't remember.
I told you all so, he thinks to himself, allowing himself to have a bubbling moment of annoyance towards the rest of the family... before he lets it go. Right. Those feelings wouldn't be much help right.
So... he takes a breath.]
I wish that could happen for you too, or that the world was more fair... unfortunately, it doesn't work that way.
The important thing is... he attacked first, you didn't. You were just trying to survive. And... it's a good thing you did remain alive. A lot of people would've been really sad if you had died.
[And he does! For all his self-loathing, Luke understands that he's loved in this life.]
My parents don't even know what's going on, and they'd be pretty crushed. Plus you guys, and my siblings too. I'm pretty sure even Zelos would miss me, even though I kinda got him hit by a bus.
[It wasn't on purpose, at least.]
But, I dunno. Like, what if it had been a real guy? What makes me more important than him? I don't wanna die or anything, but he'd probably have a family, too, right?
[Zelos got hit by a.... you know what, he's not going to worry about that right now. There's enough things to unpack]
See? There's a lot of people who'd be upset. So it's a good thing you lived.
[And it's important to hold onto that]
Maybe he does... but ultimately, he choose to attack you first. You shouldn't seek to kill if you aren't ready to be killed in turn. That's why it's important when you're fighting humans and similar beings, to only act in either self-defense, or in the defense of others.
My brother's kind of a dick, too, though. He went after you guys in the Fortress just because he thought you stole my wallet! You guys wouldn't do something like that.
Oh, well. That's not so bad then. [Ash is a pretty good kid when he's not sitting on Luke, so... sure! He'll take it]
Ha... oh yeah, I nearly forgot about that. [he could fess up that he did actually steal his wallet, but... nah. He won't] Did you ever get your wallet back? I never heard the conclusion to that saga.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
winterfish
no subject
Date: 2025-08-12 06:01 am (UTC)[Anyway, Luke waves to Jun as he comes in.]
Nah, it's fine.
[And then, after a beat-]
I'm that obvious, huh?
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Date: 2025-08-12 05:50 pm (UTC)At the question, Jun will give a shrug. ]
You didn't visit Haru or Belle in the hospital.
[There's no scorn in his voice, just a neutral observation. ]
If you had skipped out visiting just me, that would've been one thing. [They're not the closest of siblings, he gets it] But not even going to even check on them...
That feels like you're trying to avoid them.
no subject
Date: 2025-08-14 07:50 pm (UTC)[Luke frowns. He’d really hoped that, after everything else, his absence had been unnoticed. It wasn’t.]
Hey, I wasn’t trying to avoid them.
[It’s hard for him not to be more defensive. There are so many emotions in his head right now, and there’s no good outlet for any of them.]
But they’ve gotta get better. A moody guy like me would’ve mucked it up.
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Date: 2025-08-14 08:00 pm (UTC)I don't know if that's true. Why would you think that about yourself?
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Date: 2025-08-14 08:04 pm (UTC)I mean, I dunno, they’ve got all those cool powers and stuff and I’m just a guy.
[No, it isn’t just that.]
I’m a pretty worthless brother if you think about it. I can’t fight and I just kept getting us into more trouble. All I can do is shout and cry.
[And then, after another beat, the thing he hadn’t wanted to mention:]
He looked like our dad.
no subject
Date: 2025-08-14 08:43 pm (UTC)But he let's that bit go, this isn't about him. It's about Luke]
You're not a worthless brother. You're just young and inexperienced. [He pauses, before admitting] And truthfully... I caused a lot of trouble when I was your age. Ash did too.
[As the comment about the dad, his hearts. Not for himself, he knows Luke and him don't share a dad. But for Luke... who had to experience that. ]
... I'm sorry. That must've been painful.
no subject
Date: 2025-08-14 08:53 pm (UTC)[He sounds unsure.]
I mean, Ash I get—-guy’s an asshole—but you seem pretty strait-laced. It’s hard to imagine you causing trouble.
[Luke you have no idea.]
I didn’t even know it was him. I mean, I could tell we looked alike, but I’d never met him before. But my brother could tell.
[He doesn’t want to think about it, but he can’t stop. When he closes his eyes he’s still there, gun pointed at his face.]
I didn’t want to kill him, I just wanted to live. He had a gun pointed straight at me. I keep wishing I could take it back.
And now I’m not sure, like, he came out of the board game so maybe he wasn’t even real? But what if next time it’s someone who is real.
no subject
Date: 2025-08-14 09:16 pm (UTC)Ha... Unfortunately, I've caused a lot of trouble. I'll tell you some of the stories someday. One involved a T-rex, and there was a whole stint I had where I'd sneak into Spirit Realms by myself.
[he was. a rebellious youth. But he knows this isn't the time for wild tales of jun's youth. That could be another time, when Luke wasn't going through it.]
... Your survival instinct kicked in, Luke. And the instinct wasn't wrong. Had you not acted, he likely would've killed you. After all... the Hunter was what landed me in the hospital. And if I didn't have my regeneration power... I wouldn't have made it.
[He bites his lip a little]
I get it though. No matter how much you rationalize it... the guilt doesn't go away. You go over the moment over and over in your head... wishing you had done things differently, even if you don't know how.
It's ... a terrible feeling.
no subject
Date: 2025-08-14 09:27 pm (UTC)[BY WHAT METRIC]
[anyway]
Yeah, and I’m really glad I’m alive right now. But it’s, I dunno, it just isn’t fair, I guess. Why does someone else have to die for me to stay alive?
[And why are the words ‘Tower of Rem’ echoing in his head?]
I just—-I wish I could go back to before all this crazy stuff, y’know? Like I could just be a college student.
no subject
Date: 2025-08-14 10:01 pm (UTC)[He got in so much trouble for that one okay. So much.
There's a pause as a soft intake of breath when Luke says that. That he wishes he could go back. Like he wishes he could forget. His mind can't help but flashback to the numerous conversations he had when Luke showed up. The concerns he had about Luke remembering, about taking part of his life.... that maybe it'd be better if he stayed away, and didn't remember.
I told you all so, he thinks to himself, allowing himself to have a bubbling moment of annoyance towards the rest of the family... before he lets it go. Right. Those feelings wouldn't be much help right.
So... he takes a breath.]
I wish that could happen for you too, or that the world was more fair... unfortunately, it doesn't work that way.
The important thing is... he attacked first, you didn't. You were just trying to survive. And... it's a good thing you did remain alive. A lot of people would've been really sad if you had died.
no subject
Date: 2025-08-31 02:22 am (UTC)[And he does! For all his self-loathing, Luke understands that he's loved in this life.]
My parents don't even know what's going on, and they'd be pretty crushed. Plus you guys, and my siblings too. I'm pretty sure even Zelos would miss me, even though I kinda got him hit by a bus.
[It wasn't on purpose, at least.]
But, I dunno. Like, what if it had been a real guy? What makes me more important than him? I don't wanna die or anything, but he'd probably have a family, too, right?
no subject
Date: 2025-08-31 02:32 am (UTC)See? There's a lot of people who'd be upset. So it's a good thing you lived.
[And it's important to hold onto that]
Maybe he does... but ultimately, he choose to attack you first. You shouldn't seek to kill if you aren't ready to be killed in turn. That's why it's important when you're fighting humans and similar beings, to only act in either self-defense, or in the defense of others.
Does that make sense?
no subject
Date: 2025-08-31 02:49 am (UTC)[Well, technically it did explode, but not until it hit the video store. And definitely not when it hit Zelos!]
I guess. I mean, I don't really like it, but if I have to--that's a good way to be.
[And then, after a beat:]
You're actually really nice, huh?
no subject
Date: 2025-08-31 02:55 am (UTC).... Bruh.]
Did you think I wasn't... ?
no subject
Date: 2025-08-31 02:57 am (UTC)[i think you know it does not]
no subject
Date: 2025-08-31 02:59 am (UTC)Erm... which Ash are we talking about here? The redhair Ash with a "c" or the tall Ash with no "C"?
[BECAUSE THERE'S A DIFFERENCE. WHERE DOES HE FALL ON THE ASSHOLE ASH SCALE]
no subject
Date: 2025-08-31 03:03 am (UTC)[Luke waits a bit.]
My brother's kind of a dick, too, though. He went after you guys in the Fortress just because he thought you stole my wallet! You guys wouldn't do something like that.
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Date: 2025-08-31 03:14 am (UTC)Ha... oh yeah, I nearly forgot about that. [he could fess up that he did actually steal his wallet, but... nah. He won't] Did you ever get your wallet back? I never heard the conclusion to that saga.